I spent the last 12 days fasting from food. It was a sun-up to sun-up fast; I could eat a breakfast before 9 am, then no food after that the rest of the day. I could drink water, soup broth, or drink pure fruit juice. That was it. People asked me why, and I had several reasons. The first reason was that it was an assignment for class. I probably wouldn’t have been fasting at this time if it weren’t an assignment. I also like to tell them that it’s a willing sacrifice on my part to increase my dependence in God, and to see Him as provider of all I need, and increase my thankfulness toward Him for that! I met a couple friends at Key’s café in Lauderdale. I ordered soup and asked for as much broth as possible. The server looked at me funny, and asked why. I explained like I did above, and she looked with a curious face, and said, “That’s gross!” We all chuckled a bit, and I appreciated her response. It made me think of the disciplines that we read about in Whitney’s book, and I believe that her response was perfect for the world I live in today. I know that these disciplines that I aspire to are not considered necessary, appealing, or desirable to today’s culture. I also know that if I continue to strive to build these disciplines in my life that I will instinctively be growing closer and closer to Christ.
The first couple days of my fast, I felt great. I struggled with hunger everyday, but these first couple of days, I quickly and automatically turned to God each time I felt hunger coming on. This instinctive turning to God gave me a great sense of peace, and encouragement that I was going to be just fine. I also recognized that my prayers for breakfast were so much more heartfelt, and I had a truer appreciation for the food that was before me. By day 3, I began to encounter some, what I like to call funky health concerns. My digestive system was reacting in ways it shouldn’t normally act. In spite of this, I was really feeling encouraged by what was happening. I knew that God was walking this path with me. I knew without a doubt that I could turn to Him for comfort and relief from the temptations I was battling. I could also see an increasing sense of my dependence on God as provider.
Just about everyday someone would ask if I wanted to grab something to eat, or if I wanted to share in a lunch, or some other offering of food. In an effort to always be humble, I would graciously decline and explain that I was fasting. I even went so far as to explain how hard it was at times to be fasting, but that I was really drawing closer to God with each passing day. By day 10 or so, I was really convicted by my response. I read Matthew 6:16-18 where Jesus teaches about fasting. He says, “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men that they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who see what is done in secret, will reward you.” I was convicted by these words and reminded of the numerous times over the previous 9 days when I had told others of my fasting, and even of how hard it had been. Over the next couple of days I heard from a couple of friends how impressed they were by my fasting and that they wanted to fast. I began to think about what I was doing, and how proud I was of what I was going through. And, by day 12, I was so discouraged that my focus had become what a good thing I was doing and not was a great God I serve. I wasn’t thinking about how ALL things are from God, but how I could talk about my experience (that I was still in the midst of) with others. It was at this point that I decided my intentions were more about me, and less about God. I stopped.
It’s been 2 days now since I stopped. I am excited to fast again. I am blessed to serve a God who is merciful and infinitely full of grace in correcting this sinner. He has taken what was a humbling experience, and filled me with an excitement to fast again. I see now how by taking away what had become a huge part of my life, I recognized how big God is to fill or provide all my needs. I really take a lot of things for granted. My body shape reflects just how much I had begun to take food for granted! J I would turn to food in all circumstances as a filler of needs. I am so thankful that God was gentle with me in teaching me that food isn’t going to fill my need. God alone is my rock and my salvation (Ps 62:2a).
I am encouraged that God has chosen me to do His work. I see this in many areas of my life these days. I am humbled when I think about this. This “guy” who created the universe and everything in it, is going to use me to do His work! Oh my gosh… I am encouraged that God has spoken to these two friends through my fasting. I would encourage them to find a verse that helps them focus on God alone as their rock and salvation. I would pray that they wouldn’t take their experiences and make it about them, but that it would always be about God.
There were many benefits to my fasting. I lost 12 pounds. Sweet! I have started to eat breakfast everyday. That’s a good thing! I don’t crave sweets nearly as much as I did 2 weeks ago. Hooray, fruit! Most of all, I have found myself renewed in prayer with God. I have found myself instinctively turning to Him for strength and comfort throughout the day. PRAISE GOD!!!
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