Happy Good Friday!

I love Good Friday!  Like Pastor Steve says, this is his Christmas.  Like a kid gets excited for Christmas, I get excited for Good Friday, 'cuz I know that Sunday's coming, and Jesus won!  I hear people say things like, "If your God is going to send me to hell because (of this or that) then I don't want to believe in your God."  Or, "My uncle volunteers 4 times a week, works in an orphanage, and is the kindest person in the world.  If he's not going to heaven because he doesn't believe in your God, then I don't want to go to your heaven either."  I want to say to them that we all are going to hell, because we all have sinned against a holy (pure) God, and the price for that sin is death.  It's only because of today and Sunday that we have a chance at heaven.  

I pray that you feel the weight of your sin today.  I pray that you realize that you've screwed up (too many times to count) and that you don't deserve to come before a holy God.  And I pray that you thank Jesus everyday for paying the only price possible, for being the victim of the greatest sin of all time in order that you and I don't have to carry the weight of our sin any longer, but can look forward to eternity in heaven.  

Happy Good Friday and Easter!  Praise God!

Recent Fast...

I spent the last 12 days fasting from food.  It was a sun-up to sun-up fast; I could eat a breakfast before 9 am, then no food after that the rest of the day.  I could drink water, soup broth, or drink pure fruit juice.  That was it.  People asked me why, and I had several reasons.  The first reason was that it was an assignment for class.  I probably wouldn’t have been fasting at this time if it weren’t an assignment.  I also like to tell them that it’s a willing sacrifice on my part to increase my dependence in God, and to see Him as provider of all I need, and increase my thankfulness toward Him for that!  I met a couple friends at Key’s café in Lauderdale.  I ordered soup and asked for as much broth as possible.  The server looked at me funny, and asked why.  I explained like I did above, and she looked with a curious face, and said, “That’s gross!”  We all chuckled a bit, and I appreciated her response.  It made me think of the disciplines that we read about in Whitney’s book, and I believe that her response was perfect for the world I live in today.  I know that these disciplines that I aspire to are not considered necessary, appealing, or desirable to today’s culture.  I also know that if I continue to strive to build these disciplines in my life that I will instinctively be growing closer and closer to Christ. 

The first couple days of my fast, I felt great.  I struggled with hunger everyday, but these first couple of days, I quickly and automatically turned to God each time I felt hunger coming on.  This instinctive turning to God gave me a great sense of peace, and encouragement that I was going to be just fine.  I also recognized that my prayers for breakfast were so much more heartfelt, and I had a truer appreciation for the food that was before me.  By day 3, I began to encounter some, what I like to call funky health concerns.  My digestive system was reacting in ways it shouldn’t normally act.  In spite of this, I was really feeling encouraged by what was happening.  I knew that God was walking this path with me.  I knew without a doubt that I could turn to Him for comfort and relief from the temptations I was battling.  I could also see an increasing sense of my dependence on God as provider. 

Just about everyday someone would ask if I wanted to grab something to eat, or if I wanted to share in a lunch, or some other offering of food.  In an effort to always be humble, I would graciously decline and explain that I was fasting.  I even went so far as to explain how hard it was at times to be fasting, but that I was really drawing closer to God with each passing day.  By day 10 or so, I was really convicted by my response.  I read Matthew 6:16-18 where Jesus teaches about fasting.  He says, “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men that they are fasting.  I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.  But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who see what is done in secret, will reward you.”  I was convicted by these words and reminded of the numerous times over the previous 9 days when I had told others of my fasting, and even of how hard it had been.  Over the next couple of days I heard from a couple of friends how impressed they were by my fasting and that they wanted to fast.  I began to think about what I was doing, and how proud I was of what I was going through.  And, by day 12, I was so discouraged that my focus had become what a good thing I was doing and not was a great God I serve.  I wasn’t thinking about how ALL things are from God, but how I could talk about my experience (that I was still in the midst of) with others.  It was at this point that I decided my intentions were more about me, and less about God.  I stopped. 

It’s been 2 days now since I stopped.  I am excited to fast again.  I am blessed to serve a God who is merciful and infinitely full of grace in correcting this sinner.  He has taken what was a humbling experience, and filled me with an excitement to fast again.  I see now how by taking away what had become a huge part of my life, I recognized how big God is to fill or provide all my needs.  I really take a lot of things for granted.  My body shape reflects just how much I had begun to take food for granted!  J  I would turn to food in all circumstances as a filler of needs.  I am so thankful that God was gentle with me in teaching me that food isn’t going to fill my need.  God alone is my rock and my salvation (Ps 62:2a). 

I am encouraged that God has chosen me to do His work.  I see this in many areas of my life these days.  I am humbled when I think about this.  This “guy” who created the universe and everything in it, is going to use me to do His work!  Oh my gosh…  I am encouraged that God has spoken to these two friends through my fasting.  I would encourage them to find a verse that helps them focus on God alone as their rock and salvation.  I would pray that they wouldn’t take their experiences and make it about them, but that it would always be about God.

There were many benefits to my fasting.  I lost 12 pounds.  Sweet!  I have started to eat breakfast everyday.  That’s a good thing!  I don’t crave sweets nearly as much as I did 2 weeks ago.  Hooray, fruit!  Most of all, I have found myself renewed in prayer with God.  I have found myself instinctively turning to Him for strength and comfort throughout the day.  PRAISE GOD!!!

Beating Sin... really???

Bill Perkins (in his book When Good Men Are Tempted) talks about the 3 ways to surely fail in your attempt to win the battle against sin, particularly, lust.  He talks about overpowering, reforming and starving your sin (lust.)  This idea of making your own plan to overcome sin is empty or void of hope.  I have tricked myself into thinking that I could beat a certain sin by “willing” it, or by discipline.  I have failed every time.  Sometimes I’ve been able to hold out for a little longer than other times.  But, in the end I’ve always failed.  The problem here isn’t just that I’ve sinned again, but now I’ve sinned and have an increasing amount of guilt because I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain.  Perkins talks about how these plans fail us in that we’re not leaning on God; we’re trying to fight these battles on our own.  We also fail when we fall into a deep feeling of guilt for turning back to sin.  In my own experiences, this has led to 2 paths, one where I just try not to care about the sin anymore, or where I try not to care about the guilt.  Neither one is any good.  I like what Perkins has to say when he says, “…giving up the fight in your own strength is the first step to victory.”  This seems pretty obvious, but seldom realized, or put into action.  Like anything, if we take it to God first, let Him lead the way, we’re going to find ourselves better equipped to handle the battles we’ll have with sin along the way.  This includes turning to God when we do sin.  This, in turn means that we’re turning away from sin.  I remember my mom telling me to “lean on God” when I was tempted to do something that wasn’t honoring to God.  She said that when she feels temptation in her life, she “leans” on God by saying, “I can’t do this on my own here, God.  I need you to take this one for me.”  I don’t know if this works every time for her, or not.  I know that it hasn’t worked every time for me.  I do know, however, that it has worked a lot more than when I tried to muscle my own sin.  As tough as I am (and I am pretty tough…) that Satan guy might be a little tougher.  Fortunately for me, as tough as Satan is, that God guy is way tougher.  As long as I put God on my side, I like my chances…

I see other Christians, especially guys, who go down this path Perkins describes.  They start talking about what a miserable person they are, or how helpless they are.  But that’s where they stop.  They fail to realize that they can put Jesus on their side, and let Him whoop sin’s a$$.  It’s hard for me when I hear them crying out to the masses how hard their life is, or how miserable we all are, or how hopeless life seems.  I can’t help but think, “Yeah. Your life does sound pretty miserable.”  I need to work on my attitude toward these people.  My initial desire is to just avoid them.  I do, however, pray that they will see the hope that Jesus brought for all of us.  Perkins says in chapter 9, “Grab the grace of God.”  I love that.  I just want to shake ‘em and tell them to grab hold of that grace as though your life depends on you never letting go… er wait, it does.  Doesn’t it?

I would love to hear from you... please share your thoughts, struggles, victories, whatever!  Thanks!

Preparing to work for God

Henry & Richard Blackaby write in their book, Spiritual Leadership (in chapter 2) that leadership is about “being”, not “doing.”  I love that!  I want to “do” that kind of leadership.  He also says that God doesn’t stop us from making mistakes, but rather waits until we do and stands ready to redeem us.  I see these two teachings as awesome bars to reach for as a “young” leader. 

First, the idea of being a leader…  Pastor Cor and I have talked about this before and I routinely see this in him.  I see him not only jumping in and doing the crap with the rest of us, but doing with a joyful heart (at least on the outside.)  One of my former students, Ryan, used to say to me, “listen, doo (I think this was his way of saying, “dude.”  He would just take the “de” off the end of the word…) don’t just talk about it, be about it.”  I have always loved that saying.  I think it says to everyone around exactly where your heart is.  Anyone can talk, most people can even perform a little to create an illusion of heart, but few leaders actually live what they preach.  When it does happen, man is it inspiring!  Those are the people I want to chase after.  Nobody was a better, Godlier leader than Jesus.  And, while I don’t always chase after Him, when I pause long enough to get out of my own way, I love returning my eyes to Him.  

Second, the idea of letting people stumble may not seem right, or may be hard to do or watch.  I remember a time when I was working through a math problem.  I remember my teacher stood above me, watching my every move.  I would look up once-in-a-while, trying to read his face to see if I was on the right track.  I would finish.  He would smile.  I couldn’t wait to turn my work, have him correct and turn it back to I could feel like the smartest man alive.  I got my paper back, and the problem he watched was wrong!  Why didn’t he correct me?  Why did he let me continue when he KNEW that I was doing something wrong?  It took a while, but I finally learned that lesson when I became the teacher, and it’s an idea that I’ve learned to use across settings.  The idea is that if I correct everything people are doing as soon as they are doing it, they’ll never learn two valuable lessons.  One, they’ll never learn that there are consequences.  And, two, they’ll never learn how to solve the problem.  They will only learn how to solve individual steps in the problem.  I’ve used this in soccer.  God does the same thing with us.  He let’s us fall so we learn to solve the problem, and to learn what the consequences will be if we make mistakes.  But, we get a bonus.  We also get to see God’s love and glory when He redeems us.  To be an effective spiritual leader, we NEED to follow God’s example on this one!  (well, everyone, but I really like this one!)

PLEASE share your thoughts... I would love to hear what you think makes a good leader!

Faith

I was talking with my buddy Jon the other day. We were talking about the authority of scripture.  We were reading a book by Wayne Grudem that made a few "presuppositions."  They were that the Bible is inerrant, and the the God of the Bible is real and exists as described in the Bible.  We both felt like these were pretty big presuppositions if you were to talk about this topic with a non-believer.

He asked me how I would explain to a non-believer that the Bible is in fact The Word of God and is inerrant.  This question caught me a little off guard.  I really want to have great answers to questions like this, but really feel like I'm so new to scripture and Christian theology that I stumble when faced with tough questions.  

I told him that I believe this questions goes back to my faith.  There are a lot of stories out there about how this all came to be; about creation.  There are different ideas of how people came to be moral beings, if they did at all.  I didn't claim to know all the different stories out there, but as my friend Tim  Johnson said, "The story of the Bible makes the most sense."  Tim was explaining to a Systematic Theology class how he "knows" God exists.  He said that he can't prove to anyone that God exists.  He can point to creation/nature, the complexity and beauty of human beings and the human mind, but those things don't prove anything.  Ultimately, it came down to what stories made the most sense.  This idea really hit home for me, as I spent 30+ years trying to fill a hole inside of me.  I spent this time trying to gain acceptance or status in the world around me. It wasn't until February of '07 that I realized that the only "thing" that could fill this void was Jesus.  Like a ton of bricks, it all made sense. This is the story that makes sense.  

Now this story doesn't prove anything.  This is just the story of my faith.  And what does this have to do with the authority of the Bible?  Well, I believe in the God of the Bible, and therefore, believe in the Bible.  So, to me, it's not a gross assumption to say that the Bible is God's word, and is in fact inerrant.  As Grudem says, the Bible is God's authority, it is clear to those who choose to hear what it says, it is necessary, and it is sufficient for all who are open to hear it's teaching.

We all have a theology. Some may have a theology where there is no God.  Some may believe in a "being", but that everyone's being is up to them...there is no one God.  I believe in the God of the Bible.  I believe that if you run with all the other "stories" long enough, they don't work.  They end up coming to a dead end (no pun intended, but it's so true...)  I would love to talk more about your faith. Please share...  

more to come... 

God is Faithful!!!

For the few of you who actually read this blog, (thanks!!!) I have found a renter for my place in St Paul.  This is truly an answer to prayer.  I have been so blessed by so many amazing people who have joined to support me in my pursuit of a life in ministry.  This support has been in the form of prayer and money.  I raised financial support thinking my place would sell or rent fairly quickly. Well it didn't.  I have had to spend much of the financial support I raised for the year in the first 3 months of LDI.  Now that I have a renter, I will be in a better place financially to continue moving forward with LDI without having to go back to work full-time.  Once again, I have learned how God is faithful, and will provide what we need if we follow Him.  

I asked my dad the other day how he thought the recent financial mess would do to missions and other ministries around the world.  He kind of shrugged his shoulders, grimmaced a little, and fearfully said, "I don't know.  But I know that God will provide what He needs for His kingdom." For those who don't know my dad, he's a rock.  There's not much that scares him.  He is a true follower of Jesus.  He knows that with money being tight around the globe, that ministries will be taking hits.  But his faith in God was a reminder to me that God is faithful.  I don't know what God has before me, but I know that it's awesome.  I also know that He'll provide what I need to do His work!  Thanks, God! 

So Much For Once A Week...

This is where I get to come everyday.  What a beautiful office, huh?  I had no idea how busy not having a paying job could be...  My original intentions were to update my blog once a week to keep people updated with what's going on in LDI.  My last post was in early August, and here it is nearing the end of September, and I'm just now getting to my next posting... I'm surprised the entire internet didn't shut down in wait of this posting :)

Anyway, LDI is full of reading.  I am taking 5 classes now.  They started early in September and run through December.  Monday nights I have an inductive study of the book of Mark.  This is a new means of study for me.  It requires that I (everyone in class) to check our theological baggage at the door, and only use the text in front of us, as well as Old Testament references.  It's a tough, slow process, but so amazing to see how God is working through all things and all people.  He is truly sovereign.  We've had 3 - 3 hour classes and have gotten through the 1st chapter of Mark.  Just Awesome!  Wednesday afternoons we have 3 hours of Old Testament Study.  This class is a book-by-book study of the OT.  We are through Numbers now.  Leviticus and Numbers are not the most exciting books to read, however, give great insight into God's infinite mercy, AND our infinite worthlessness to receive that mercy.  Wednesday night is SHAPE.  S - Spiritual Gifts, H - Heart, A - Abilities & Talents, P - Personality, E - Experiences. This class digs into each persons uniqueness and tries to help see how God has made us to do His work.  This is a fun one... Not super deep and NO HOMEWORK.  Thursday afternoon we have a 3 hour class for LDI interns on Leadership.  This class is great.  We're reading Willard's Renovation Of The Heart, right now.  We'll get through 5 books between now and mid-December.  Thursday night is Systematic Theology.  This is the biggest class with about 15-20 people.  Steve Treichler teaches, and this is a look at Theology topic-by-topic.  

Outside of LDI, God has shown himself off as only He can.  He has provided me with many very generous supporters, for whom I am thankful to God for their hearts.  Official "Thank You's" are coming... I'm slow.  I know God has called me to chase after him, and pursue ministry as a full-time vocation.  Prior to starting I had a condominium in St Paul that was too expensive to keep and do LDI.  After much prayer and conversation with trusted friends, I made the decision to sell/rent my place, and join LDI.  Well, my place has neither sold or rented.  Almost all of my support for the year is spent.  I am learning to trust that God will lead where He wants, and will provide what He knows I need.  I have considered the options of working more or quitting LDI for now.  I was reminded of how God provided what He knew Hope Community Church needed versus what we thought we needed.  We were located on the campus of the U of M, and busting at the seams.  The elders prayed and searched for money to get/build a new church.  They prayed, and prayed for money.  One of the elders stood up and said, "We don't need money.  We need a building."  Shortly thereafter, we were given a building in downtown Minneapolis at no cost from a church (Central Free) that was going under.  I am feeling like I need money, when I all I need to do is trust God.  If I can do that, the rest will fall into place.  

Prayer requests:

Peace - That I would rest in God's sovereignty, and trust that He is in control.  

Perserverance - That when I feel overwhelmed by the reading that I will stick with it.

My Condo - That God will provide a buyer or renter, so I can take care of the debt I am responsible for.  

Pride - That I get rid of my pride and begin to respect those around me as God would have me.

Food for thought... (i.e. would love some feedback/comments) - Did Moses change God's mind in Numbers, when God says that He is going to destroy the Israelites, and Moses tells Him not to, that the Egyptians will see that as a victory (of sorts).  After hearing Moses, God says, "I have forgiven them as you asked", and spares them from destruction?  Did Moses know better than God?  Did God make a mistake?  Can't be... right?  Let me know your thoughts...